Notes on Trying

Hi! Long time no see. The initial plan was to write every month but life happened. We thank God sha.

You remember what a verb is? An action word or a doing word. This is how I have thought of myself the whole year.

As an action word. A doer. A person bent on trying even with the possibility of failure. A doing(s). An attempter. Beyond being the substance of things hoped for, Faith is an action word or a doing word.

Viola Davis, at the NAACP Image Awards while giving her acceptance speech, said " I never want to not be brave enough as a woman, as a Black woman, as an artist…", and I felt that. Because this is how I feel about my life. I want to always try.

I never want to not try. I might fail. That is all right. It won't work? Doesn't mean anything. I might slip? That is fine. An editor will frustrate me? I will try again. The cold email won't get any response? No be new thing. I will struggle in this new position? Before!😂

I started making video reviews and vlogs when I found out I wasn't particularly comfortable in front of a camera. Like the whole point of the reviews was to prove that I could sit in front of a camera and just be. The first vlog wasn't all that it but I go back often to watch it. And I love it. In its own way, it reminds me that all things are possible: small and big. I have done several others since then and like a lizard nods after a mighty fall, I have given myself several nods and thumbs up.

There was the worry of how would I look in it, how about if I stutter? If I forget the lines nko? Pfft. I did all of that, my people. Stumbled over words. Forgot my lines. Said the wrong things and I had on a month's old cornrows and a hideous scarf in one. But the victory for me was that I tried.

See, I think we really take ourselves too seriously. We really think the whole world stops to nitpick at our work and forget theirs. Like, you think the 'imperfect' picture you posted today is what one person will fixate on for the whole of their day? Please, stop playing. And even if they do, so what? You should count it all joy that you even attract attention.

Today again, I am reminding myself (and you) to try.

Try for the fun of it.

Try for the possibility that you might become all you hope for.

Try for the joy of what might happen.

Try, because really what are the other options?

Try because you could just be the break you have been praying for.

Try, even if they have told you nothing will come out of it.

With love (and all the prompting you need to try),

Faith Ekekwe.

P.S. Here are two songs I recommend for anyone who might want to try new things:

Sara Bareilles "Brave

Shakira "Try everything.